Oh my god.

Discuss the lore of the EotA world.

Oh my god.

Postby Ion » September 15th, 2006, 9:46 pm

The Blazing Priest IS A COMMUNIST OMFG.

Reasons why?

1) He wears red.

2) He makes things that are red.

3) His skeletons and phoenixs explode on-contact due to the fact we're playing a violent game. However, I am quite certain that in real life these skeletons would not explode, but sit down and discuss the finer points of the BPs disillusionable political views and attempt to convert those of whom intially cannot accept the bullshit of communism.

4) He hermits himself. Presumably because nobody except other Blazing Priests and various wild-life creatures like his political views, most actually probably consider him a douche because he's just a stupid fucking commi.

5) He's a Priest. Priests have sex with little boys. It would then make sense for this Priest to have sex with a little boy, effectively making him a communist.

It's all in the bag boys. Love it or hate it, the facts are out, the truth is down on the page, and the real story is set in stone. The Blazing Priest, Bhekar Ro, has been uncovered as a communist.

I will be continuing with further evidence on other "deep dark secrets" on various heroes of whom YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW!



TOMMOROW'S EDITION OF ION TONIGHT:

Xeldarith.

Powerful priest.
Diligent follower.
Secret-supporter of an underground movement DEDICATED to ursurping the rights of women in Elven society?

Only time will tell.

/bored
Ion.
User avatar
Ion
Communist
 
Posts: 352
Joined: August 13th, 2006, 3:37 pm
Location: Here!

Postby Tehw00tz » September 16th, 2006, 12:16 am

...lol..
ДɷϣRØLEɷӟP
User avatar
Tehw00tz
Corpse
Corpse
 
Posts: 1520
Joined: August 13th, 2006, 3:14 pm
Location: New Orleans, ДɷϣRØLEɷӟP, ДɷϣRØLEɷӟP

Postby AlienFromBeyond » September 16th, 2006, 1:51 am

You just blew my mind.
AlienFromBeyond
Resident
Resident
 
Posts: 117
Joined: August 13th, 2006, 3:10 pm

Postby Hammel » September 16th, 2006, 3:19 am

The Computer is communistic because he makes all heroes dress in red...

Apart from that: Don't touch my SB in a negative way, or you will regret it (I simply love such empty threats).

-Ham
Hammel
Addict
Addict
 
Posts: 444
Joined: August 13th, 2006, 10:32 am
Location: The other side of the world... wait, the world is flat, right?

Postby Ion » September 16th, 2006, 12:42 pm

For those skeptical, the latest news on the Blazing Priest's whereabouts have come to the attention of the public.

NOTE: For those sensitive who might find these pictures frightening, appauling or downright ridiculous, quit bitching and scroll down.
























Image

-sad nod-

Now his true colors are out.

Red.

White.

And Stalin.
Ion.
User avatar
Ion
Communist
 
Posts: 352
Joined: August 13th, 2006, 3:37 pm
Location: Here!

Postby BustroQuick » September 16th, 2006, 1:16 pm

Hammel wrote:Apart from that: Don't touch my SB in a negative way, or you will regret it (I simply love such empty threats).


Would it shock you to know "your" SB is secretly a woman?!

Reborn
User avatar
BustroQuick
#4
 
Posts: 200
Joined: August 7th, 2006, 11:37 pm

Postby Hammel » September 16th, 2006, 1:37 pm

Guess why he is "my" SB? I am not gay, just to let you know... but the voice just makes me horny :P. So deep and powerful and secretive.... *wow* ^^ :P

J/k, I just dislike people always seeing him as the bad guy ;) Well, maybe Ion will reveal he is the savior of the world... GO AHEAD ION...

-Ham
Hammel
Addict
Addict
 
Posts: 444
Joined: August 13th, 2006, 10:32 am
Location: The other side of the world... wait, the world is flat, right?

Postby Tehw00tz » September 16th, 2006, 2:11 pm

SB is reknown for his uncontrolable necrophelia in the land of EotA and that is why he is the bad guy.
Ha, I said it first.
ДɷϣRØLEɷӟP
User avatar
Tehw00tz
Corpse
Corpse
 
Posts: 1520
Joined: August 13th, 2006, 3:14 pm
Location: New Orleans, ДɷϣRØLEɷӟP, ДɷϣRØLEɷӟP

Postby Hammel » September 17th, 2006, 4:19 am

He isnt necrophile, he is just using the souls of his enemy to support his race. Although he is an outlaw among his own kind for doing so, he still continues, so he is the good guy. I got the better arguements, I win...
Hammel
Addict
Addict
 
Posts: 444
Joined: August 13th, 2006, 10:32 am
Location: The other side of the world... wait, the world is flat, right?

Postby Ocean.dll » September 17th, 2006, 8:08 am

I'll let the priest comment slide this time... =P

The BP is vastly misunderstood. How long will we let this Mr. Ion McCarthy rip into the Dems of this nation for the deflamation of their character. I think the real point here is, Ion is nothing more than a facist!!1
"RAWRR" -closing lines of Big Trouble in Little China
User avatar
Ocean.dll
Regular
Regular
 
Posts: 91
Joined: August 20th, 2006, 7:46 am
Location: The Sewers of Manhattan

Postby Hammel » September 17th, 2006, 10:07 am

I personally believe Ocean is an analphabet...

It is "faScist"... and the person in his sig is Niels Bohr, not Neils...

Just my cent.

-Ham
Hammel
Addict
Addict
 
Posts: 444
Joined: August 13th, 2006, 10:32 am
Location: The other side of the world... wait, the world is flat, right?

Postby Tehw00tz » September 17th, 2006, 8:42 pm

Hammel wrote:I personally believe Ocean is an analphabet...

It is "faScist"... and the person in his sig is Niels Bohr, not Neils...

Just my cent.

-Ham

You should change your name to 'Spammel' so then you could put "-Spam" at the end of all your messages and we wont bother to read them. :P
ДɷϣRØLEɷӟP
User avatar
Tehw00tz
Corpse
Corpse
 
Posts: 1520
Joined: August 13th, 2006, 3:14 pm
Location: New Orleans, ДɷϣRØLEɷӟP, ДɷϣRØLEɷӟP

Postby Hammel » September 18th, 2006, 9:57 am

Well it is your idea, and this post of yours wasnt any better than mine before ^^. Ok, this one is even worse than yours because I continue spamming but nvm, just wanted to say this ^^.

And my post had a point on the topic which is Communism/Fascism lately...

-Spam, UMMM -Ham
Hammel
Addict
Addict
 
Posts: 444
Joined: August 13th, 2006, 10:32 am
Location: The other side of the world... wait, the world is flat, right?

Postby Ocean.dll » September 18th, 2006, 8:07 pm

Hammel wrote:It is "faScist"... and the person in his sig is Niels Bohr, not Neils...


1.) In our form of English, the name Neil is generally spelt as such. My bad.

2.) I did indeed mean facist, which is ten times more evil than fascist. Facism is the goverment used by the country of the Maldives. While the Maldives may look like a quiant tourist attraction it is actually a Canadian puppet state that is responsible for driving the Canadian war machine. The facist goverment, an xtreme form of fascism, is currently laboring on harvesting vast amounts of fish, whos oil is used to power Canada's giant fighting robots. You may ask why the Canadians, our fun loving friends from the near-north, are hell bent on producing these walking machinations of death, but the answer is simple. You see, the current Afghan President, Hamid Karzai is planning on touring Montreal on September 23rd, speaking to large French Canadian organizations. However, the Afghan President has no intent of returning to Afghanistan, as his clear intent is to seceed Quebec from the rest of Canada to form the Republique du Quebec which will trigger a massive war between the two nations. Fortunatly, Canada is prepared for such a war, and that is why they are building the robots. Logicially, the main battlefield will be in the iron rich lands of Luxembourgh, where the world will be able to first see the terrible might of Canada's giant fighting robots that can all transform into construction vehicles. I, being the first member of the press to know about them, am going to coin the name Constructicons for them. Soon the Canadian government will be saying "Getting things done and kicking French ass for all of us."
"RAWRR" -closing lines of Big Trouble in Little China
User avatar
Ocean.dll
Regular
Regular
 
Posts: 91
Joined: August 20th, 2006, 7:46 am
Location: The Sewers of Manhattan

Postby Ion » September 18th, 2006, 9:28 pm

That's why we started making the robots at first.

Then we realized what a waste of time it would be to fight the French. We decided on a more practical approach, one similar to our approach to welfare (which other countries have tried to mimic, and alas, failed miserably).

Let me make an allegory:

Being Canadian you might assume we up here in the far-northern wastes retain systems relevant to keeping the populace under control. Police, firehalls, hospitals..stuff like that. However, this is not the case.

Instead of hospitals, we use iceburgs. Unhealthy? We'll send you out on an ice-berg! 100% natural treatment, to please all the animal lovers out there. GIVE BACK TO THE WORLD and shut up! That's our theory.

Who needs firehalls when you can have icehalls. Anyone who's dumb enough to get a fire in Canada, as well all know snows all year 'round and is -30C all year around (yes, we use the metric system), desirves to be shot with ice. So that's what we do, we shoot them with a hose and freeze them. Then maybe it'll teach them to stop being a dipshit.

As for police..we have mounties. However, the mounties are not the "real" law-enforcement here. The TRUE rulers of Canada are the wolves. They drive our helicopters, attack random farm-steads (Siege knows of this) and eat children we don't like.

Now what you ask, is the point? The point is Canada does things different. In Canada, welfare is non-existant. We have a system to aid the poor, we call it, winter.

So, why, when are so different (and in my opinion more advanced) then the rest of the world, waste our hellbots on the French? What have they ever done to us? Try and seceed from us? Try and torch our parliament buildings in the 1800's and failed? Try to split up Canada by being all stupid and French and bitchy and like "LOL NO I DUN WANNA JOIN CANADA B/C WE HAV NO EQUL REPENSATATION!!!1!!Lol!O!L!OL!ol!".

We've decided, as many times before, to take a 100% natural course on the subject of Quebec. So natural infact, that it is called natural selection. If we just leave Quebec alone, taking away it's crutches, financial support and guidence, the whole province will fall apart. At least, the French population will. They'll, I dunno, probably blow up a toaster somehow (don't ask me they're French) and end up contracting some rare disease because they have sex with their cousins.

We're instead going to unleash the Hellbots on Australia. Because the crocodile hunter died. And there's black people there, we need more black people. Currently all the black people reside in Quebec, we will ruin itself out of being governed by a frenchman.

By the way if you're french, or sensitive to racist matters, don't read this. It's..it's pretty bad. Yeah.[/b]
Ion.
User avatar
Ion
Communist
 
Posts: 352
Joined: August 13th, 2006, 3:37 pm
Location: Here!

Postby Hammel » September 19th, 2006, 6:39 am

I am sorry for all the bullshit that may sound anti-semitic or racist, I randomly made this story up, without any straight idea...


By the way, the idea to build fish-fueled robots for war was first developed in Germany around 1910... since noone know what "robots" where, the inventor got killed and fed to the fish he seemed to love so much.

About 15 years later Adolf Muhammad found those first drafts and started his march to victory. Supported by his youth-friend, Benito Mussolini, he built an armada of human-looking Fishbots, killing any political enemy with them, disguising it as acts of radical Nazis.

In order to lead the robots into battle, he began a huge amount of testing in the Concentration Camps to find out at how effective they were in terms of mass destruction. By the way Muhammad had a rare genetical disease, so he randomly picked the Jews to be test objects because his great-grand-mother once gave a Jew some money... therefore the church killed Muhammad's great-grand-mother for giving money away (was forbidden to a christ at that time). Muhammad never recovered when he got to know that by a Jew, who would, by the way, be his first victim.

Due to the rare genetical disease Muhammad (and his secret half-brother Churchill) had, Muhammad did not stop testing and led the war with human soldiers instead.

After the war was over, Churchill found out about what really happened in the Concentration Camps, so he had his army hide and destroy them all while at the same time they built new ones outside Germany with high-tech-gas-chambers. Then he let his army slaughter some more Jews to have some mass-graves (those few more dead Jews were not missing after the war). Apart from that, the secret plans for the fishbots were brought to the never-ending winterlands of Canada so noone would ever find them and reveal their true power.

Side-Note: in the end, Churchill killed more Jews than Muhammad, to disguise what his half-brother had done, but that is just for those statistics noone ever looked at. Watergate nearly revealed it but in the last second, CIA, NSA, Mossad and the BND kick the President (dunno who it was) who was about to find out about it all.

-Ham

-EDIT: Okay, it was not Churchill, but the Prime Minister of GB during WW2... ~~
-EDIT #2: Then another source I read is wrong... I also thought of Churchill but well somewhere else I read he was Prime Minister later so well...
Last edited by Hammel on September 19th, 2006, 11:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
Hammel
Addict
Addict
 
Posts: 444
Joined: August 13th, 2006, 10:32 am
Location: The other side of the world... wait, the world is flat, right?

Postby SeasonsOfLove » September 19th, 2006, 10:21 am

Winston Churchill was the Prime Minister of Great Britain during the majority of World War II, until the very end of it.
User avatar
SeasonsOfLove
Resident
Resident
 
Posts: 118
Joined: May 27th, 2006, 8:18 pm

Postby Discombobulator » September 19th, 2006, 4:17 pm

Hammel posesses a very good knowledge of history.
User avatar
Discombobulator
Retired
Retired
 
Posts: 709
Joined: September 19th, 2006, 4:16 pm

Postby Ion » September 19th, 2006, 7:37 pm

If Winston Churchill was a mermaid and the Nazis were ants, then Winston Churchill could've just fired a lightning bolt with his super mermaid powers at the ants and wtfried them up.

lolgggermany.
Ion.
User avatar
Ion
Communist
 
Posts: 352
Joined: August 13th, 2006, 3:37 pm
Location: Here!

Postby Ocean.dll » September 19th, 2006, 7:47 pm

Yeah, I talked to Winston Churchill once. He said he used to be from Atlantis before he was exiled for tying his pet sea horse to a fire hydrant.

But alas kids, the hour is late and I am much to tired to tell such a tale. Perhaps for some other time.

(btw, this has devolved into complete spam. Just fyi.)
"RAWRR" -closing lines of Big Trouble in Little China
User avatar
Ocean.dll
Regular
Regular
 
Posts: 91
Joined: August 20th, 2006, 7:46 am
Location: The Sewers of Manhattan

Postby Hammel » September 21st, 2006, 11:58 am

We know this is complete BS, and that is the fun about it (apart from basis that WW2 was just... sick, and maybe you shouldnt make fun of it and the Dritte Reich and what happened then).

-Ham
Hammel
Addict
Addict
 
Posts: 444
Joined: August 13th, 2006, 10:32 am
Location: The other side of the world... wait, the world is flat, right?

Postby Tehw00tz » January 15th, 2007, 9:36 pm

I actually wondered why he used a hammer, then I relized something.
Image
ДɷϣRØLEɷӟP
User avatar
Tehw00tz
Corpse
Corpse
 
Posts: 1520
Joined: August 13th, 2006, 3:14 pm
Location: New Orleans, ДɷϣRØLEɷӟP, ДɷϣRØLEɷӟP


Return to EotA Lore

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron